10th February 2022
Although you will never see them,
They are out there, all the time:
Those devilish meddling fairy folk,
The Goblins Of The Washing Line!
Suppose that you peg out ten socks –
Come teatime, there’ll be just nine;
And it can’t be that one was snatched by the breeze,
Because the day has been calm and fine.
And even while you do the hang-out,
Those goblins play their tricks:
That’s why, when you’re turning a sheet with four sides,
You find that the thing has got six!
Some folk don’t believe in these goblins:
They say it’s the wind which must
Play havoc with all of our laundry
By means of strange eddies, fluke gusts.
But these idiots can’t understand
What is so clear to me and to you:
Those cunning and scheming small creatures –
They tell the wind what to do!
Without the Washing Line Goblins egging it on,
The wind off the sea hasn’t got
The imagination that is required
To tie every bedsheet in knots.
And, left to its own devices,
A south-westerly wouldn’t be bothered
To grab hold of the clothes on your one washing line
And tangle them all round the other!
But, guided by these pesky grey folk,
A zephyr soon finds it is able
To throw a whole basketload onto the lawn
In a cold, wet, muddy cat’s cradle.
And it’s not just the wind they will wind up,
When they’ve noticed you pegging out clothes:
With fanatical verve they will talk to the birds –
And your garden has plenty of those!
To a thrush which guzzles on berries
Then perches above something blue,
The goblins will whisper, ‘No – over here, Mister:
Here’s a white pillowcase you can streak with your poo!’
Or if you should try to hang out to dry
Something with sequins or glitter,
They’ll tip off the magpies or jays to attack it,
And with glee will those nasty sprites titter.
The Goblins Of The Washing Line:
There is no way to beat them;
And if you think using the tumble dryer
Is going to let you cheat them…
The moment that your back is turned,
It will go on fire or blow a fuse –
The Goblins Of The Washing Line
Won’t ever be confused!
And anyway you must agree, when all is said and done,
That nothing beats the scent of clothes dried outside in the sun.
So tolerate those Goblins; and remember that, just like you,
Every single washing day they have their job to do!
© Christopher Jessop 2022
